And I'll tell you this- I'm dreading it. Because regardless of whether Alex Rodriguez is handed a yearlong suspension or a lifetime ban from the game later this week, the punishment won't hurt him nearly as much as it will the dozens of impressionable young kids who believed in him.
It was only a decade ago when A-Rod came to the Bronx to don pinstripes. Back when he was well on his way to becoming the greatest player to ever play baseball. That once-in-a-lifetime talent that would eventually earn his own hallway in Cooperstown.
Of course, this was before the allegations. Before the positive tests and Peter Gammons interviews. Before Cousin Yuri. Biogenesis. Dianabol. Shame.
While #13 was using PEDs to cheat the game I love, I was working day-and-night to recreate his batting stance in little leagues, hoping it would help me be the best I could be. Because that's how A-Rod made it, right? Hard work and perseverance. Sure.
I feel ripped off. Betrayed. Duped. I don't care how many home runs he hit or how much money he stole from the organizations who believed he was doing it clean; to me, he is scum. Lower than scum.
Two years ago, I got the chance to "meet" Alex Rodriguez. Finally, an opportunity to see my hero up close and personal. He walked, with cousin Yuri Sucart by his side, right across the street in front of me. He made sure not to acknowledge any of his fans.
That's the thing about A-Rod: it's all about A-Rod. He pretends it's not all about him, rarely, but it's almost too easy to see straight through his facade. When he "opens up" to Sports Illustrated, ever so arrogantly, it's tongue-in-cheek.
And when the MLB announces the suspension, A-Rod will profess his innocence- again and again. He will sit in front of a microphone and take pages out of the Ryan Braun Book of Lies: "I would bet my life that this substance never entered my body at any point," "I've always had tremendous respect for the game of baseball," "By no means am I perfect."
When really, everyone knows. I know. Alex Rodriguez used performance enhancing drugs, and probably even helped other players use them too.
I hope he is banned from the game. I hope he looks back in 20 years and regrets every single one of his actions. I hope he knocks on the door of the Hall of Fame every day for the rest of his life and no one lets him in. Some people are not worth defending.
Or idolizing.
